Let’s Fantasy Book a 2020 Brawl for Everyone
Thanks to another solid episode of Dark Side of the Ring, the fight for all is once again talking about the Internet. The hard fuck of the late 90s holds a “special” place in the memory of so many fans, which makes us wonder “What if it was a thing now?” ” Other than some concussions, of course.
Using cutting edge technology at SoBros HQ, I simulated what I think is the ideal support for Brawl for All using the current WWE roster. Granted, there are some legitimate villains on this list who are not on the medium. Brock Lesnar was a categorical no, with Aleister Black. On another side, Matt Riddle pretty much forced its way into the tournament. Many text messages were received simply saying “BRO” until he was finally admitted.
The clashes were decided by pulling names from a cheap cowboy hat I found on the floor.
Fight for all: 1st round
Matt Riddle vs. Dexter Lumis– Riddle is clearly the favorite, which shows after a short feeling process. It doesn’t take long for Riddle to land a few withdrawals. After the referee raises the two men, as he has no idea what he’s doing or the rules to follow, Riddle lands some hay, sending Lumis to the mat for good.
Tucker vs. Oney Lorcan– It goes back and forth over the first couple of rounds until Oney lands some huge shots, dropping Tucker down although he doesn’t get the finish. Oney by decision.
Erik vs. Killian Dain- Dain comes out throwing bombs, but Erik is patient. The Viking turns and feigns his way until the third round, where he takes over. Smart boxing in the third round gives Erik the decision victory.
Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley – Whole bloodbath. These two fought against each other for three rounds. Mojo is cut off early with a heavy right hand, but he fights back. Neither man retreats with two coins dealt by the two men. In what has been the tightest fight so far, Ryder leads the decision victory. The two share a hug afterwards before Gronk tries to join them. Ryder and Rawley continue to scream Gronk’s ass and become 24/7 Co-Champion.
King Corbin vs. Wesley Blake– Corbin talks shit a lot, but then continues with the best pure boxing performance of the tournament. Landing solid jabs mixed with some hay leading to a TKO in the second round.
Jaxson Ryker vs. Heath Slater- In what can only be described as a huge upheaval on paper, Slater wins by first round knockout! Ryker didn’t seem to take Heath very seriously, ending up getting caught with an ungodly right hand just on the button. Slater moves on and the whole arena goes crazy.
Damian Priest vs. Shorty G- The first game that really boils down to takedowns. Priest tries to use his reach, but Shorty continually finds the perfect time to shoot for the double and single leg. It might not be the most exciting way to win, but Shorty G gets the job done by unanimous decision.
Rezar vs. Danny Burch- Another slugfest. Rezar brings some MMA experience, which really shows in the second and third rounds. After a violent back and forth in the first minute, the two slow down a bit. Rounds two and three clearly go to Rezar, but Danny Burch’s fight impressed everyone.
Fight for all: 2nd round
Matt Riddle vs. Oney- Riddle comes out and shows his fighting pedigree in it. Oney is super strong, but Riddle quickly takes over and submits Lorcan in the first round. Oh yeah – I guess there are submissions now.
Erik vs. Zack Ryder- Another straightforward fist fight that Erik is able to take over. Ryder takes some damage, but he takes it all back. By the time we come to the decision, it’s clear that the game plan of getting in, doing damage, then getting out works perfectly for Erik making the decision to win.
Corbin vs. Slater- Once again, Corbin is telling some crazy bullshit and only winning on points in the first two rounds. With about thirty seconds to go in the final round, Corbin begins to the hot dog, which leads Slater to land a gargantuan right hand followed by a quick left. Corbin is down! He is able to get back on his feet, but he faltered. As time passes, Slater throws everything he has at Corbin dropping him to the buzzer. Slater by TKO to bring Cinderella’s dream to life!
Shorty G vs. Rezar- The big man comes out the door looking for a quick knockout, which hurts him more than anything. Shorty is patient and finally finds his when Rezar engages with a burst. Shorty is able to get a takedown and locks into a nasty arm bar on Rezar’s previously injured arm. Seconds later, it’s over as Shorty moves on to submission in the second round.
Brawl for all: semi-finals
Riddle vs. Erik- The brother is everywhere Erik since the jump. Through a stifling struggle, Riddle is clearly heading for the third round. Erik fights with everything he has, but he’s just downcast. Riddle advances to the finals after a leg lock submission victory late in round three.
Heath Slater vs. Shorty G- Shorty and Heath didn’t hold out all three rounds in this one. With a little slick boxing, Shorty shows off the gas tank and that he has some nice punches to go with this fight. We make a decision with Shorty who takes the lead thanks to the points. The crowd is still completely in love with Slater after Corbin’s victory.
Brawl for All: Finals
Matt Riddle vs. Shorty G- A first-rate struggle here, folks. The two fight on the ground for the first two rounds with Shorty trying to steal every point he can.
As he nears the final round, Riddle turns it on. He backs up on an attempt to remove Shorty and recovers his back. Riddle fights for submission, but Shorty keeps his chin tucked in and hand fights with everything he’s got.
The final bell rings before he can earn the submission victory, but Matt Riddle makes the decision and is your 2020 Brawl for All Champion.
The two men respect each other before a fan takes a break for the ring… .wait a minute… .this not a fan… .this… .this nZo! Just as he hits the ring to play for the microphone, he’s grabbed by Riddle and Shorty. The two bemoan the Certified G before giving him a legitimate Doomsday device. Shorty chokes on nZo as Riddle celebrates with his big trophy which he will likely turn into a bang later that night.
John Mosley is the independent wrestler and television enthusiast for the SoBros network. He graduated from ETSU with a diploma in radio, television and cinema as well as a minor in film studies. Since graduating he has done virtually nothing other than watch, film, edit or comment for local wrestling promotions and is currently the color commentator for Resolute Wrestling. #Preds #Titans #DefendOrVacateConor